Friendships New And Old : Lessons Learnt

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“A friend is someone that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become and still gently allows you to grow” – Shakespeare

Friendships are an integral part of everyday life and society. We are judged on what company we keep and the number of friends we have, No wonder friendships can be a scary concept for some.  Friendships haven’t always been easy for me. From an early age I had always been worried about what other people thought of me and I never used to fully immerse myself in friendships.

This past year has been a real turning point for me. I have really become the person that I have always wanted and someone I can be proud of. My confidence has sky rocketed this past 12 months and that has given me the ability to really give 110% percent to my friendships. The friendship they are  receiving is 100% me, no holds barred. Take it or leave it! This year saw many friendships disappear and many new ones appear in their place. Navigating my way through 20 years of friendships has made me who I am today and has taught me a variety of different life lessons.

DISCLAIMER – These are obviously lessons I have learnt and obviously will not work in everyone’s individual situations.

“Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance” – Rabindranath Tagore

As I have grown up I have realized that it isn’t the number of friends that you have or the number of people who actually like that you matters. I can count the number of people I consider my closest friends on my fingers. 9 hilarious and sweet individuals to be precise. Do they feel the same way? I don’t know but I have realized that just because ” Best Friend” status isn’t reciprocated doesn’t make the friendship any less real.

Some I have known for years and some I have only recently met. Length of friendship has no correlation with the type of friendship.  Friendship depends on each individual person. All nine of these lovely people I instantly clicked with but trust depends on circumstances, person, place and time in your life.  I can only say that half of those people truly have my trust and know my inner most thoughts, struggles and feelings. A friend I have had for years knows exactly the same stuff that a friend I made 12 months ago knows.

“The most valuable gift you can receive is an honest friend.” – Stephen Richards

Trust and honestly is key in a friendship. I think sometimes I can be a bit too honest however trust has never come easy to me. There are very few people in the world that know everything about me. I can’t explain why I trust certain people over others, It is just a gut feeling. I did at times feel pressure to tell people stuff that just made me feel uncomfortable but after some time I realized these were my stories to tell and if I didn’t want to I didn’t have to.Trust should come naturally, if it feels right, it most probably is.

“When you look at a person, any person remember that everyone has a story and everyone has gone through something that changed them” 

Acceptance. Acceptance is a big part of my friendships. I accept my friends for who they are, who they were and who they are meant to be. I don’t judge people on the past, I accept that the past has made these people into who I would like to be friends with. Everyone has bad spells, I have had plenty in my time.  The here and now is what counts to me. If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you. If you are honest with me I will be honest with you.

“Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.” – Mandy Hale

A piece of advice I wish I had heard a few years ago. I have had a few toxic friendships in my time and wish I had known when and how to let them go. Having negative and hurtful people in your life is never a good thing.

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself” – Jim Morrison 

“A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” – Elbert Hubbard

It’s friendships like this that need to be valued the most. I am not perfect and never have been and at one point in my life I tried to never show the negative sides to my life.  The most important thing I have learned is to be myself.  The friendships I value most are the ones that I can truly be myself, bad and good. Mess around and act goofy and no one cares. Be in fits of giggle for hours on end.  Be open about the things I like – I mean anyone that can put up with my love for Glee is a saint!

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In terms of friendships I am in the best place I have currently been in years. I have myself some truly amazing girls and guys who I believe have my best interests at heart and I love them for that <3

Until Next Time

Laugh, Love, Shop

Charlotte x

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