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A letter to myself on my 24th Birthday

Dearest Charlotte,

I know you are probably not out of bed yet and have been snuggled up under that massive duvet of yours reading fan fiction this morning but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wow! 24 years old! How does it feel to finally get there? Scary? Exciting? Daunting? or all those three things wrapped up in one neat bow with your name on it. I know there were days you thought you wouldn’t make it this far but look at you, making it!

23 was one hell of a year you had the most amazing holiday to Canada and took on new challenges at work. You opened the doors to some new friendship and closed the doors on others,  met some amazing talented people, spent time with those closest to you, spilled your heart online about your demisexuality (your most viewed post to date EVER), saw a tonne of musical theatre, cried a lot and ate all the carbs! 23 showed you that some friendships were only circumstance-based connections, 23 was all about letting things go and not worrying anymore about things you could not change.

Keep pushing your comfort zone. I know that it is the last thing you want to do sometimes, but it will do you the world of good in the long run. Some of the best things you did this year made your heart race and pushed your anxiety sky high but you did it! You loved it (well most of them) and you are a better person because of them. There are some possible opportunities on the horizon that are scaring you shitless right now, but if the opportunities arise I need you to run, skip and jump towards them full force. No looking back, no regrets.

Keeping being yourself 100%, wear what you want to wear even if it is a throwback to your youth (yes, I’m talking about the chocker you refuse to remove from your neck), watch what you want, read what you want, photograph what you want, listen to what you want. I know you don’t always like what you see but be kinder to yourself and live your true self – its the best way to be. remember you’ve learnt that you are going to get judged either way so go out there and do you!

Be open. To ideas, experiences, people. Educate yourself on experiences that are not your own, take careful consideration before turning down an opportunity and open your heart up more. But most of all be honest….

You’re circle is a good one. Just the right amount of people from all ages, all walks of life and all with your best interests at heart. Love, love keeps your world turning. Looking at your friends and family you feel such pride and love for these people that help you through life and 100% have your back. That being said romantic love that is something you have never felt (even though you foolishly and wrongly thought you may have somewhere along the way). There is no rush, and remember to tell yourself that at 9pm on a Sunday when the loneliness kicks in. You are a lot to get used to but you have the biggest heart and one day (hopefully in the not to distant future) you’ll find the someone willing to stand by you and your excessive hand sanitiser and therapy bills.

Wow, that got real deep so lets wrap this up, cause lets be honest you attention span has started wavering hasn’t it!

Even though you might not feel like it, all those baby steps add up to real progress and you are going to do just fine!

24 is the year to embrace yourself, step out of your comfort zone, read more, travel more, explore more, live more and just be more!

I really don’t say this often enough, but girl I am so proud of you. I’ve lived your darkest days, your happiest days and they have all lead you to where you are today and that girl is pretty darn great.

Happy birthday girl, eat all the pancakes watch all the shadowhunters and keep smiling

 

Love Always,

Your biggest Cheerleader

xoxox

Charlotte

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